Ten Goodgymmers journeyed deep into the heart of Haringey's latest tiny forest for a spot of dregrassification.

Olfactory Blues

Our Goodgymmers ran a cool mile to the New Road Park Tiny Forest as part of the Tiny Forest Wildlife Count. Friends of the tiny forest met us there and after a temporary misunderstanding around whether Gramps was going to foot the bill for all the Big Fat Cats bonuses at Thames Water, we were pleased when Mina from the Friends group turned up with tools, bags, and clear mandate for our lot: de-weed this poor tiny forest so the trees get more of the rain water into their thirsty roots - whenever it comes.

Say no more. Our Goodgymmers pulled grass, yarrow, and dandelions to their hearts' content, while discussing the merits of medieval mead-making and the evolutionary reasons of why a little bit of pain is good for you.

All the while, Gramps was keeping a beady eye on the lookout for any sign of wildlife. Sam came to his rescue, in a way, when she alerted him to, as she put it, a very faecaly smell in the area she was weeding. Reader, she must hit the vulpine scatological motherload because we all had to move away from the area. All newcomers were warned to avoid Sam's behind because of the faecaly smell - 'behind' used here purely in its geographical sense rather than anatomical and in no way for comedic purposes at poor Sam's expense. No. Never.

After about an hour, our heroes stopped for the evening after a rather successful weeding session and we all headed home satisfied with a good day's work.

Boom.

Join us for another tiny forest expedition next week as we visit the folk at White Hart Rec.

8 Goodgymmers rolled up their sleeves and assisted the good folk at Harmony Gardens with an old school hardcore weeding session.

Couples Therapy

Did you know that the collective noun for a group of tadpoles is a knot? Now you do.

Did you know that the Irish for fox, madra rua, literally translates as red dog? Now you do.

Did you know that if you soak comfrey leaves for long enough, not only will they stink so bad that they'll make you retch but also could potentially create some fun, homemade explosive device? Now you do* (please don't blow anything up IRL. Talk to your mates instead)

Did you know that if you ever need anyone to lead a couples therapy session you should never ever ever ask either Niamh or Gramps to lead it? I suppose you could've guessed that one by now.

Anyway, enough with the free public service broadcasting, if you want to learn more lessons like the ones above, you should definitely join a GG live classroom near you pronto!

It wasn't all fun lessons at Harmony Gardens, however. Oh no, sweet Murphy was there too. For those unfamiliar with this absolute gem, Murphy is the official GGHarringey canine rep, whose vet last week confirmed he's roughly around 100 years old in human years. Not that that would stop him from walking to task, joining in the digging, and check notes engaging in a very public and sloppy snogging session with Gramps. Legend.

It wasn't all fun lessons and canine shenanigans at Harmony Garden, however. Oh no, there were also tadpoles. Our Goodgymmers kept taking little breaks to have a look at the little fellas swimming around, while Mike from the Friends group kept a close eye on an unnamed hirsute Goodgymmer who wanted to take some tadpoles for his own pond. No, unnamed hirsute Goodgymmer, that's not allowed. And yes, hirsute Goodgymmer, your fish will probably just eat them anyway.

It wasn't all fun lessons and canine shenanigans and knotty but nice mischief at Harmony Gardens, however. Oh no, we also found the time to do some proper work. Three-cornered leeks were pulled with no remorse as they had taken over one of the beds at the back of the centre. Meanwhile, at the front of the building, a lovely field of self-seeded poppies were being crowded out by weeds but our Goodgymmers came to the rescue. They even managed to find a previously unspotted dog rose. Fun. All in all, a good hour's work if we say so ourselves.

Again, you should definitely come

6 Goodgymmers did their best to literally put on the Ritz in Russell Park last night as they brought down an unsteady bug hotel then rebuilt it to a much safer spec in a kid's playground. Boom!

You Can Check Out Any Time You Like...

As the good folk at Noel Park Big Local get ready for the grand opening of their new playground this Saturday, they requested our help in securing a bug hotel that had been built with some questionable foundations and was presenting a risk in the brand new playground.

Our Goodgymmers, armed with gloves and boundless enthusiasm, got on with the task at once. Niamh, making her glorious return, took it upon herself to rally the troops with her inimitable style - in other words, the evening was dominated by innuendos about drilling and enjoying a good Bosch™. You were greatly missed, Niamh <3 And many thanks for today's musical pun.

Dave even found time to take a factory-sized broom to the outside of the playground and swept a small mountain of leaves to prepare the area for some power-washer action that will happen later this week, much to Julie 'I love power tools and putting people in bins' Fisher's chagrin.

After an hour, a much more steady and secure abode had been constructed for our our friends of the bug persuasion and the new playground looked in amazing shape for this weekend, if we say so ourselves.

Boom!

7 Goodgymmers were in for a proper biceps workout as they helped the always wonderful Alan from the Meadow Orchard to harvest some clay for a forthcoming session.

CSI: Haringey

Our Goodgymmers arrived at the Meadow Orchard tonight, full of smiles and bonhomie, completely unaware of what a bit of clay harvesting actually entailed.

Very soon we found out it was a matter of get busy living, or get busy digging and as the Shawshank Redemption references rolled out from our Goodgymmers, we shovelled our way into the bit of the Orchard's prepped for us for the task at hand. The area, formerly the site of tennis courts apparently, was tough to get through but once we reached a depth of about a third of a Gramps, we reached the beautiful, sticky, messy London clay. What a sight to behold.

We then began packing it up in bags to be used at a later date in an eco-building project.

Boom.

Then, in true Andy Dufresne style, we effectively snuck out of the Orchard while Alan from the Friends group was distracted looking for more bags to fill! You can read their much better version of this story - here

We made our way to the pub afterwards for beverages and to celebrate in true #BadGym style our Paul's birthday.

Fun.

8 lycanthropic Goodgymmers huffed, puffed, and blew the house down at Wolves Lane.

Spinning Straw Into Gold

Elki from Wolves Lane welcomed us with open arms, loads of cutting utensils, and a mountainous 1.5 tonne pile of hay that needed processing so it could go into the compost piles.

Proving that it would be easier to find the proverbial needle in a haystack than it would be to dampen the spirit of our Goodgymmers, they attacked the pile with gusto and purpose.

Latoya, fashionably late due to Gramps/Arsenal/Newly-imposed tariffs on timekeeping/literally anything else she could blame but herself, regaled us with stories of her exploits over her many years of Goodgym missions after on-field debutant Mark enquired about the ins and outs of this facet of Goodgym. Incredibly enough, stories about flying nappies, accidental pond-dipping, and "kidnapping" by the senior community didn't discourage Mark but in fact it seemed to motivate him to try missions - a natural fit to the GG Haringey fam, our Mark. Boom.

After about an hour of shenanigans, we had managed to make our way through about two thirds of the haystack, much to Elki's surprise and delight, and it was time to go off in search of beverages. But not before a quick pitstop to say hello to the terrapins. It wouldn't be a visit to Wolves Lane without a terrapin sighting.

#LongChip

Shout to Dave and Sarah for tonight's pun action.

Join us next week: Monday at Traid for fashionable shenanigans, and Wednesday at Meadow Orchard followed by a social. Come!