“Seek, and ye shall find”, says a quote from the Bible - but it doesn’t specify whether the sought and the found are necessarily the same thing. The November Grove Farm conservation day was all about searching and discovering. Mike treated us today to a unique quest, equipped with a treasure map from an unlikely source: Thames Water. More precisely, the map wasn’t really a map, but a clue: “that amuse adults”.

On the way to the presumed treasure location, we followed a golden, shiny trail, distracted by the lustre of beer cans scattered along the path. We diligently collected the spoils, packed them in a bag, and cunningly hid our riches inside a rubbish bin. Next to the bin, we made an amusing discovery: a couple of pieces of illustrated literature for the enthusiasts of bottom-heavy ladies. Was that what amuses adults?

Five GoodGymers and three Friends of Grove Farm pressed on, venturing off the path into the wilderness, where Mike stopped and revealed what sort of treasures we were after. The treasure had been buried on the grounds of Grove Farm a century ago, under a manhole owned by Thames Water. But the riches it contained were not of a material kind - that would have been, of course, rather desirable, as we could have funded Friends of Grove Farm efforts to maintain the nature reserve. However, there was more at stake. The beautiful wood anemone patch up the hill was threatened by an underground water blockage, which only Thames Water could fix. But first, we had to find the manhole and clear the access.

After three people pointed out that it would have been great to have a metal detector, we accepted the reality (in which there was no metal detector) and got stuck into hacking the brambles and branches, raking cuttings and leaves, and poking the ground with a fork or a spade. After a few false alarms, resulting in digging out bricks, pipes, pots, and tyres, we tightened our search area to more accurately match the what3words phrase “what.amuses.adults” - to no avail. One of us came up with a hypothesis that a tree with many stems growing in the middle of the patch we scoured might have easily grown right from the manhole within the hundred years - an idea we feared to accept.

It would have been a privilege to report to my dear readers that the mission ended with great success. Alas, we haven’t found the manhole. All we discovered was rubbish hiding in the undergrowth. That had to suffice for a treasure at the end of a worthy quest. We will continue our search in December, so wrap yourself warmly, Dear Explorers, and let us know if you want to put your name down for another adventure here!