A Firey Tale of Olde Yorke - Chapter 2

On the last Saturday of the month of January, eight red-coated knights of the Order of Goodgym York descended on an old allotment patch to continue the good work of their predecessors. They had previously cut back a hundred years of brambles, revealed a creepy old shed, and burned piles of old wood in Chapter 1: A Firey Tale of Olde Yorke

On arrival, the council of allotment Wizards decreed:

“Leave only the timber… and let fire feast upon it later.”

And with that, they quickly embarked upon their task to sort the wood from the not‑wood and the burnable from the bewildering.

The scarlet heroes descended upon the patch and delved deeper into the far corners of the magical plot than any Yorkie had ever been. Each piece was lifted, shifted, dragged, or coaxed from the land with heroic effort — for no monster is more stubborn than abandoned gardening equipment.

Amongst the wood, which they sorted and stacked, they bravely uncovered a host of treasure to be banished from the allotment kingdom. Heavy items were hauled. Awkward items were wrestled. Confusing items were stared at for several long seconds while Egg the Enthusiastic took photos for posterity.

Their bounty included:

• Heavy metal rods (or perhaps a stash of giant's javelins) likely to have been forged in the underworld itself, and definitely weighing as much as a small dragon
• Broken windows (none showing a better view)
• A magic mirror (though nobody remembered to ask who was the fairest of them all)
• Hosepipes and fencing tangled like gossiping snakes
• A decorative shower screen, fully in tact as though placed there by goblins seeking cleanliness
• An ornate copper kettle, tarnished with years of grime.

An onlooker may have wondered why none of the red knights sought to polish the kettle until it gleamed, in the hope of revealing a genie from within to grant three wishes. Those who were wise to the January Quest of the order of Red Knights might assume it's because they had already smashed their January goals of achieving 600 good deeds and 10,500m of running walking and cycling, and so wanted for nothing more.

Each treasure was hauled away with great effort and mild confusion. Lady Ellie coveted an ancient sieve meant for fairy dust (or soil), and peasant's throne. She was granted permission to take them both home to give them new life.

Within an hour, a mighty stash of treasure was piled high at Allotment HQ, ready for it's ultimate banishment. The heroes wiped sweat from brows, mud from trainers, and made plans for lunch as they concluded their quest.

And so ends this chapter of the fairytale of Olde York— a tale of teamwork, treasure, and truly inexplicable finds.

Why not join us for the next instalment of this epic saga at Monday's group run, when once again our fearless band returns with reinforcements to the realm of determined brambles, forgotten junk, and community spirit.